There is nothing semi about my hatred of Sandra Lee

If you're not familiar with Sandra, she has a show on the Food Network called "Semi-Homemade Cooking" and is the face of Evil. Per her bio on Food Network "her trademark 70/30 Semi-Homemade philosophy combines 70% ready-made products with 30% fresh, giving everyone the confidence to create food that looks and tastes from scratch."
But what exactly does that mean in practice? Let's take a look at one of her "recipes".

"Fast Food Burgers"

Ingredients
1 1/2 pounds ground beef, 80 percent lean
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
4 slices American cheese

ketchup
4 hamburger buns
1/4 head iceberg lettuce, shredded
2 dill pickles, sliced

Damn it, the burger goes INSIDE the bun with the ketchup on top!!! I had no idea, thank you Sandra!!!!! I've been cramming the bun inside the meat and putting the ketchup on top of my head! People, you do not NEED a recipe to tell you that you need meat, buns and ketchup for a burger! Oh, but there is more to hate beyond the fact that her recipes are not actually recipes.

1. Her voice. It is nasaly AND condescending. Like the worst high end store-clerk ever! "Now, what you're going to want to do is put the store bought pizza sauce on the store bought pizza crust..."

2. Sandra's Real Money Issues. The network has given her a money saving show when she is far from scrimping her pennies. Do you know who Sandra's exhusband is? Bruce Karatz, the former CEO of KB Homes! KB Homes are semi-constructed. Good ole Brucey was once listed in Forbe's magazine as the nation's fourth-best-paid chief executive _ earning $135.5 million in the fiscal year that ended in 2006. Sandra was not eating hamburger helper folks. Oh, FYI, he's since been charged with securities fraud! http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/03/30/bruce-karatz-exkb-home-ch_n_180934.html

But don't worry about Sandra's love life, since divorcing Karatz, she's been dating Andrew Cuomo! So I imagine that they're eating loads of Ramen Noodles. But she probably adds cilantro so they're "semi-homemade".

3. Her outfits match her drapes on her show. This is not code for anything, they literally match. Nuff said.

4. She uses the term "table scape".

Ok, I feel a bit better now.

- Bitchy